Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Story Time Boys and Girls
I told this story to Beak on Gchat this morning and thought anyone reading this would enjoy:
me: ahhhyeah
so
at this wedding on sunday in phoenix
it was a broke ass blue grass band
barely anyone dancing
i take katie out there, we're dancing, i spin her out cuz I had to cut the cheese
spin her back in and she just hits a wall of some of my best stuff
drew: ohhhh my god
and then what
im dying
me: her WHOLE family was watching us dancing
thinking we're all cute and shit
im talking 20 people
she wacks me on the arm goes OH MY GOD and RUNS away
back to all of them
there were literally 5 other people total dancing
drew: hahahahahhahahaha did she tell all them that u blew ass
me: i double over laughing my fucking ass off
oh yeah, told everyone
i stumble over there laughing hystercially, her entire family is just DYING
her uncle goes "oh come on katie, your dad would have come over here and told us all to pull his finger" which apparently he used to do all the time
and i was like "yeah, its not my fault i spun you out and you decided to pull 4 of em!" and had the whole family in tears
<----
drew: ahhahahaha jeeesus
thats classic
me: it was phenomenal
next morning we're at the breakfast and all of a sudden it wreaks
she had cut one
so i let everyone know
now im pretty sure her whole fam thinks we're a bunch of sick fucks
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Ultimate Sack Tap
Somebody send this tapper a trophy.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Follow up on the 22 year old reggie that acted like he was in high school
Apparently he was beating high school cheeks: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/highschool/news/story?id=5189705
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The following is a letter that I am writing to Carl's Junior after what I would argue was the biggest let down I've had in 2009:
To Whom it May (and SHOULD concern):
Big Carl? More like Hot Carl! Hey Carl's Jr: I've been eating fast food 6 times a week for my entire life--don't you dare try to tell me that a burger is going to taste like my beloved Big Mac, only to deliver some dirty knockoff not even worthy of the title of Whopper Jr. Let me delve into the details:
1) Char Broiled Flavor. Honestly, if i wanted your fake bbq taste, i'd go down the street to Burger King for a real JV taste. All I got out of this was an emerging conspiracy theory that CJs and BK are in cahoots in an attempt to take down the Golden Arches.
2) Soda Choice. There is only one thing that goes well with a Big Mac...ONE. And that is a MCDONALD's coke. they have figured out the perfect syrup-to-soda-water-ratio, and you clearly have not. I had to settle for a Sprite, mixed with my own tears.
3) Pickles. One Pickle??? ONE??? I mean for cryin out loud. I get the whole "dare to be different" thing where you are only going with two buns (huge mistake...totally jacked up the feng shui of my burger), but reducing the amount of pickles eliminates one of your dominant flavors. This is burger making 101, fellas.
I could go on for hours, but these are the main points to this burger making travesty, and quite frankly that garbage isnt worth another 100 words. You guys would be better off taking a crack at the double-decker taco or even a bucket of chicken, because this cheap knockoff needs to do just that...knock it off.
Sincerely,
Michael V. McDevitt, Fast Food Connoisseur
Fast Food Review: KFC Nacho Down
Gentlemen,
My apologies for the tardiness of this review, but I have been having a very difficult time eating anything except round table lately due to their amazing $10 large meal. However, this past Saturday I was privileged enough to wrap my gums around KFC's latest creation, the Nacho Down. Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Nacho Down? I could swear the new product was called the Double Down?" No, you are not mistaken--when ordered directly from the menu, this wonderful sandwich is in fact called the Double Down. However, being the fast food connoisseur that I am, I made a last second decision to ask the waiter (yep, just called the guy behind the counter a waiter because he is kind enough to remember that I like my double deckers with nacho cheese instead of beans...just ask Keeley) to add my favorite condiment to the sandwich. He then announced to everyone in the restaurant that I was the first to order a "Nacho Down." This can only be done, obviously, at a KFC/Tbell, which is still one of the best ideas in the history of fast food.
First and foremost, this thing is fucking delicious. I mean fried chicken, bacon, cheese, Nacho cheese, and "mayonnaise sauce"?? You tell me what doesn't sound good about that. The thing was piping hot, messy as hell, but I didn't care one bit. I was completely and totally enamored by the seamless fusion of flavors, and quite frankly a bit baffled that it took them so long to make this happen. It is a flawless combination of saltyness and nachoey goodness, and I made the decision right then and there that I will never order a) the grilled version or b) without nacho cheese, and I give it my full stamp of approval. However, please beware that you literally cant take a bite of this thing without your entire face and lap being covered in grease, so there is a good chance that you will have more acne than an 8th grade girl for the next few days...but it is completely and utterly worth it. I have attached a picture of this amazing creation, and if you have any questions please feel free to ask...I could talk about this delectable treat for hours.
Happy Munching,
-Mookie McDevitt
Fast Food Connoisseur
PS, I almost forgot, but this meal goes best with a regular pepsi, as it is refreshing but does not have an overpowering flavor. Getting a DP or Cherry coke would detract from the flavor of the sandwich, which is just plain disrespectful to the Colonel, may he rest in peace.
Disclaimer
I want to make one thing clear...I think blogging is one of the most self-important things people do (behind twitter-ing and constant facebook status updating). I in no way, shape, or form think that what I personally have to say is worth reading on a daily or even weekly basis. However, I do know two things: 1) I stumble upon some of the most interesting/ridiculous shit online daily and 2) I know more about fast food than any other person on this planet--from soda pairings to condiment combination to secret-menu selections--and I feel that this is a gift that I am destined and obligated to share with those around me. With that in mind, I will post those things here as they present themselves, with no commitment whatsoever to the frequency, quality, or relevance of each contribution.
So, without further ado, I give you my first link:
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/05/12/police-star-athlete-texas-school-actually/?test=latestnews
So, without further ado, I give you my first link:
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/05/12/police-star-athlete-texas-school-actually/?test=latestnews
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